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self destruction?

Posted September 15, 2013 - 7:25pm
my daughter is quite popular around her school, has lots of friends and gets invited to many birthday parties. however, she has a lot of temper tantrums and goes into these moods where she feels no one loves her and that she doesn't have any friends. she puts words into other peoples mouths saying that no one wants her around or no likes her. at times, she cries heavily over silly things such as her sister reading a book near her or coming too close to her. in addition, she sometimes gets to the point that she feels the need to hit herself over and over, sometimes in the head. is this a cry for attention? or something that we should explore further with a psychologist? the teachers in her school doesn't feel anything is wrong at this time, and that she will out grow it. thoughts? thanks
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Marshall Herff

I agree with the teachers. These emotions eventually gets transferred into passion for work, life, career path, hobbies, etc. down the line. I wouldn't worry too much.


I think that sometimes people grow up too fast before they realize how they can convey their feelings.  Turns into an "me vs. the world" mentality. Need to stress that is NOT what is happening. 


Perhaps your daughter feels that her relationships with her peers that make her "popular" are shallow and that's why she craves attention and love that is more profound. Do you have a good relationship with your daughter? Perhaps more attention from you will make her feel like she isn't taken for granted! Just a tip :)


While this may be normal, I would still keep a close eye on your daughter. If she feels the need to physically hurt herself now, that may manifest itself into something more dangerous down the line. 


I'm with Hayden, it might be harmless now but the more attention that you pay to it, the better. 


I highly recommend a book called, Best Friends, Worst Enemies. By far the best book I have found that covers childrens social lives from preschooler on up through high school. Every parent should have a copy!

Frugal Minded M...

Oh I am definitely going to check this book out.  

Your Kid's Table

I just started a thread yesterday about some mild but difficult issues with friends in kindergarted. Thanks for sharing this resource!

Mommy Ramblings

How old is she? I would like to know because it makes a difference. Some of the things you describe seem normal to me like her fighting with her sister over silly things. I know many kids especially younger ones who are close in age who do that. I swear my boys could fight over an empty gum wrapper when they want. Other times they are each other's biggest supporter.You say she hits herself. Has she been evaluated for any type of sensory disorders? I would take her to a developmental pediatrician and let her see the school counselor at least.Good luck.


If she's older I would have an expert check her out. It could be depression & she doesn't need to suffer needlessly.


How old is she? I know my son is 12 and he is much moodier than he was when he was younger...