Setting aside differences for the kids

Alan Yellin, PhD Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist, shares advice for parents on the importance of not fighting in front of your kids and how to set aside differences for your children's benefit
Divorce And Children Tips | Setting Aside Differences For The Kids
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Setting aside differences for the kids

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Many studies indicate that continued arguing by the parent, is a predictor of poor outcome on the part of the children. We ask parents to, number one, don't argue in front of the children. If you have something to say, say it while the children are at school. Two, we stress that parents learn neutral communication. How can you talk without accusations and blame. We even teach them to write emails neutrally, so that the parent doesn't become defensive in responding to the child. That is very important. Lastly, I tell the parents, go learn some meditation or take some yoga classes so you can calm your mind. Being divorced often makes our mind and our body very excited. We often respond out of anger, disappointment, hurt. Learn to calm one's mind, in the way that you would like to so you can feel proud of yourself, is critical.

Alan Yellin, PhD Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist, shares advice for parents on the importance of not fighting in front of your kids and how to set aside differences for your children's benefit

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Alan Yellin, PhD

Psychologist

Dr. Alan Yellin is a licensed psychologist as well as licensed marriage and family therapist.  He has been in practice for over 30 years working with children, adolescents and adults. Dr. Yellin did his post-doctoral fellowship at Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles. In his practice, he sees children with learning problems, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, fears and social skills issues. Additionally, he has a sub-specialty in working with children from divorced families as well as helping parents deal more effectively with their divorce. Dr. Yellin’s practice also includes working with adolescents and adults with depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive issues as well as issues around life passages. Dr. Yellin believes that therapy works best when the client and therapist have a collaborative relationship as they explore thoughts and feelings and work towards solutions, and uses a combination of scientific data along with humor to help people achieve change. He is in a long-term happy marriage and has two grown children.

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